Me, Casey Affleck and Apples

Back in late '95 I was having a couple of cold ones at Woody's L Taven in Boston. The entire bar was watching the Pats game until a couple of guys walked in with "I love NY" t-shirts. Well ... as most folks from Boston will confirm, we don't like NY, and for obvious reaons we didn't like them. Since they went out of their way to wear their NY shirts, most folks in the bar became a little more enthusiastic about the Pats and cheered louder than usual. As the night progressed the New Yorkers themselves became more vocal, and started booing anytime the Pats scored or made a nice play. One of the guys was more vocal than the others, and seemed to look my way each time he made a comment, as if to taunt me. Needless to say I don't like to be taunted, and after having a few beers myself, I got sick of his comments and walked over to his table. With my two friends behind me [as back-up], I cleverly said "so you guys are from NY". He sneered and said "yah". I then replied "you must like apples- since you come from the big apple". He said "yah, what of it". I then popped him in the jaw and said "how'd you like those apples". The entire bar cheered. Later on that night Casey Affleck [didn't know who was at the time] came up to me and said "that was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen". A couple of years later his brother [Ben Affleck] put that scene in the movie Good Will Hunting.

Believe it or not, I saw Ben Affleck at a restaurant in Miami, FL in '99. I was with a few friends and told them this story. They told me to go up to him and see what his response would be. I wen't over to his table (very approachable by the way) and told him about my encounter in the bar and that Casey was there. Ben smiled, and said in a voice loud enough for many to hear "You're suspect!" "Yeah, you" "I don't know what you're reputation is in this town, but, after the shit you tried to pull today, you can bet I'll looking into you" "Now the business we have heretofore, you can speak with my aforementioned attorney" He then smiled and said "yeah, Casey told me the story." "I had no idea how huge and memorable that scene in the movie was going to be." "Anyway-- thanks". He then told the waitress "I'm picking up this guys tab," and then left soon thereafter.

Now ... how do you like them apples!

Pick-Up Lines

These are pick-up lines that used to work back in the day.

I would go up to a woman in the bar, drop a cashew on the floor and then step on it. I would then say to the unsuspecting woman: "Baby you're so fine, you just made me bust a nut"

Your ass is like a dryer at a laundrymat... I just want to dump a load in it. :-)

This one would always work: "Your titties are like ice cream ... I just wanna lick 'em"

Hope this makes someone laugh today!

The Day John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt Was Banned

I was 11 years old the last time I heard the entire Camp sing "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt". We were in the Dining Hall during lunch, and singing songs, which was customary until Dick came out to make announcements. Of course, whenever we sang this song, one or two campers would always substitute the word Schmidt with Shit, but, no one really seemed to notice or care. This day was different, as the entire Camp [perhaps Midgets excluded] replaced Schmidt with Shit. At the time [and still now] it was freakin' hillarious, especially when we all hummed the last verse and ended the song with an enormous roar ..."SHIT". Dick, needless to say, was enraged (and justifiably so). After the midgets were escorted out of the Dining Hall, Dick let us have it, and the song was never heard again.